The Best/Worst Part Was the 700+ Likes

Actually, the most wonderful part of text is how unambiguous it is.  Also, that's not edited - when you blinked, I snuck into your house and drew marker on your monitor.

( Courtesy of http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/ )

Dog is Driving? How Can That Be?!

Social Darwinism meets Actual Darwinism.  A perfect combination!  Be sure to 'like' this, and if this image gets more fans than a pickle, then that dog can finally get its license.  Forward this if you know anyone or know anyone that knows anyone that was killed on the death star, but not by the whole exploding thing.  Just menial, normal, maintenance accidents types of things.

Buzzed DJ'ing IS drunk DJing

I'm not certain which is my favorite part of this video.  Is it his horrible singing?  His impending sexual harassment lawsuit?  No, I'm pretty sure it's his Chris Elliot charms and fantastic clothing styles.

There's one thing I am certain of, though, and that's that I'll be hiring Stardust Entertainment for my next wedding event (that I'd like ruined).

Antrhopomorphism is Delicious!

If you'll excuse me, I think it's a good time to go file that paperwork to officially make PETV (People for the Ethical Treatment of Vegetables) a 501(c) non-profit.  Maybe with enough publicity, I can get certain celebrities to NOT take their clothes off.  You know... for charity!

http://www.designzzz.com/creative-and-humorous-food-photography/

Next Monday, I Am TOTALLY Filing For An Easement Against That Landslide!

So, this is pretty much awesome.  The next logical step is to set these up on a regular, recurring basis so I can finally hone my mad land-surfing skillz.

Roomba + Cat = PUPPY DEATH MACHINE

I've always wondered whether a buttered Roomba tied to a cat would land on its paws or vacuum the floor.  Now I know that the real result is made of PURE WIN.

OMG Owls!

If I were an owl, I'd totally camouflage myself to be patterned in on 13th-century Arabic mosaics.  Sure, it would limit where I'd be safe from predators, but some of those places would be some pretty swank resorts.

http://www.askmen.com/daily/photo_blog/the-perfect-disguise.html

Who Needs Sleep?! (Never gonna get it!)

It's the curse of our day.  Which is pretty fortuitous - back in our parents' day, the curse involved a witch, three apples, and horrible boils on your insides.  So, stop your complaining and move off of Friendster already.

http://www.thedoghousediaries.com/?p=1762

OMG ITZ SO HUGE!

And yet, every one of them consumes a constant amount of time for completion, making the progressive distribution of fun density assume a negative delta curve.  HA!  BURN!

  

Update: a larger version of same -

 

Part One of About a Million

Trying to explain why this is funny to people who don't play L4D is one of nature's greatest mysteries.

Sweet Mama Jamma

 Well?  Did the mothers get wet live on TV or not?  Though, if anyone could make all the moms moist, it's probably John Guaraldi.

Time Travel, Shmime Shmavel

Clearly, problem number one was not putting the time machine into an English police call box.  Problem number two probably involves a failure to put a fishbowl onto his head before activating.

Math is Hard, Cats Are Not

I'm pretty sure this is some sort of magical calculator.  The last time I tried to add a cat and a razor, all I got was a pile o' bleeding and a missing eyebrow.

http://videogoneviral.com/2010/05/proof-of-a-b-c-pic/

Kentucky Derby Can't Compare

Who says the jockey is completely worthless?  Well, I mean aside from everyone all the time except for that one time you actually hit someone and drug them off the map to their death or on the other side of the map while the rest of the group had split up to cover more ground?

At any rate, it's jockeys finally put to good use!

FINGERS OF DOOM

Let's all hope and pray that this guy isn't a proctologist the rest of the day.  I wonder if he's never able to pick his nose, in the way that a bear could never hug a kitten without crushing it to death accidentally...

http://www.totalprosports.com/2010/05/05/only-two-people-in-the-world-can-do-this-gif/

OMG WTF LOLCAT BBQ

The one question you should have in your mind is "where is her other hand?" and "why does she have that look on her face?"  Ok, so that's two questions.  Shut up.

Olde Tyme Sinclaire

Remember how awesome the 80's were?  Remember what an absolute dork everyone was?  Need a reminder of the time when computers were only for especially ugly nerds?

Here's 15 of 'em, right at ya!

http://www.itworld.com/print/105778

For Once, It's Not Pedobear... But Should Be

Is this a game for children?  A game you play with kids?  The sort of thing you use to lure kids into your white van down by the river?  I don't know or care, but I will say that the following line from the description pretty much sold me on buying this game:

 Naughty Bear lets you scare the stuffing out of your victims before you impale them on your machete.

http://www.gamestop.com/Catalog/ProductDetails.aspx?product_id=76899

Photoshop Phun

You know how CS5 is supposed to change the world?  WELL WHERE'S YOUR CHANGE NOW, CS5?!  If Photoshop CS5 is really an American citizen, WHERE IS THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE FILTER?!

Also: content-aware, indeed.  Let us all hope she keeps her shirt on from here on out.

100% Amateur Film - HOT!

The most wonderful thing about headlines is making them misleading.  Take this one, for example: "MAN WALKS ON MOON".  I mean, come on!  Just reading that makes you think "soundstage in the Arizona desert" when really it's about some boring crap like a guy in outer space.  Big whoop!

What was I saying?  Oh yes, this is the first part of an indie film with a misleading title but that's worth checking out despite that.

Enjoy!

DANCE FOR ME, PUPPETS! DANCE!

People the whole world over are doing this dance now.  Also, in unrelated news, the world is stupid.

Reality is obviously photoshopped

This is the fun thing about cameras.  Did you know that ANYONE can carry these around and just take pictures of whatever?  AND THEN SEND THEM TO THE INTERNETS?!  Ok, so maybe this is a little more exciting.

Just don't spend too much time on the guy at the bullfight - that sucker's going to take a while to heal.

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/life-style/2010/05/32-pictures-caught-at-the-exact-right-moment.html

MOTORCYCLE + MERRY-GO-ROUND = WIN!

Admit it.  Just go ahead and admit it.  Now that you've seen this is possible, you want to do it.

You even want to start mixing up other playground equipment and motor vehicles.  Teeter-totter + hydraulic-lift El Camino?  Slide + '87 Honda?  Monkey bars + 18-wheeler?  The sky's the limit!

Stuper Street(?) Fighter

Take three parts kids with a video camera, one part pointless nostalgia, some video editing software and... well, now I'm completely off track with this cooking analogy.

I mean, unless you plug Blanka into an EZ-bake oven, that's completely unrelated.  Off the track, or maybe off the plank!  Har har.

OMG TEH TERRERISTZ!

So, you remember that little phrase... absolute power something something?  Yeah, me neither apparently.  Or the guys running our super-1337 zekret prizns l0l.

Just remember - if you outlaw watches, only terrorists will know what time it is.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_detainees_accused_of_possessing_Casio_F91W_watches

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